The Horror Bell Curve

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Humor----Creepy----Eery----Gory----Slasher

The bell curve for what is scary changes over time.  I think most people know that, but I don't know how many people track it.  I thought Nightmare on Elm St. was scary as a kid.  Now I find it campy.  As a kid I got kind bored during The Birds, but now it's a little bit eerie.

I'm going to try and make a graph of "What is scary in 2012" and use existing movies as examples.  Keep in mind that I am using 2012 as a frame of reference. Moving along the X axis to the right is what used to be scary when I was younger.  The Y axis shows what I think is scary now.

In 2012, what is "least scary" is Humor.  Almost every horror movie I have seen uses humor as a tool, but when it is used too much, the "scary" factor falls to zero.  See Piranha 3DD or Shark Night 3D.  This has always been at the bottom of the scale.

The next level up is "Creepy" This is the type of movie that almost freaks me out, but then the scary part is revealed to early and I'm no longer scared.  The Sign is the one movie that sticks out the most for me in this section.  It was so good and scary up to a point.  When the family hears the signals on the radio, and the home video shows the alien run across the alley...that's SCARY!  But, then at the end you see a full blown CGI alien just hanging out in the living room.  It's like you almost got me there Shamalyan, but you tripped at the finish line.

The next level is Eery, and that is what freaks me out right now.  This is that perfect situation where what you are watching is totally plausible, and yet it only has to be slightly scary to freak you out.  I'm sure decades of reality TV has made this genre grow.

I'm not sure if it's fair to put this on the x axis because I don't know of any older movies that were at this level.  I think the closest before this were certain episodes of The Twilight Zone (TV Show).  This is that magic genre where belief means more than what is actually happening.

Think of The Blair Witch Project.  That kicked it all off.  This is such a polarizing movie, that I've probably lost a lot of people, but hear me out:  This started a genre where you don't have to suspend belief.  Part of you actually believes what is happening.  Think of Paranormal Activity.  90+% of that movie is not horror, but if that happened to you in real life, you would freak the hell out.  I know because I have laid in bed at night imagining if I just felt a brush on my toe, I would hit the ceiling.  Check out V/H/S when you can.  I saw a sneak preview and it is exactly what I am talking about:  when the video and audio make you believe it is real, the plot doesn't have to try too hard.

Now we're on the downside of my bell curve. We're talking about things that used to be scary, but now...not so much.  First up: Gory.  I love gore.  I want Tom Savini to have my next three kids.  I wish he would do makeup and effects for every movie ever made, plus my Christmas card..  Screw CGI.  But the truth is, we've seen it all.  You can watch CSI or Bones on free network television and see amazing realistic gore.  It took me a long time to understand the word "jaded", but I think this sums it up.  I wonder if any makeup artists went from Hostel to Bones.

Finally, we get to the Slasher end of my bell curve.  What used to be the scariest thing in my life is now something I can fast-forward.  Somewhere in middle-school I spent the night with a friend and watched A Nightmare on Elm St.  My first scary movie, and it was a great one.  These are the moments that set your horror movie watching life.  You cower under your covers fearing any exposed skin is fair game to demons.

But, with each subsequent slasher, the fear would dissipate.  I will always love the movie Halloween.  It's one of the movies that I would take with me to a desert island...but I've seen it so many times, for me it's like watching It's a Wonderful Life.

My ultimate point of this diatribe is to tell you that we all evolve.  Simple monsters and blood used to scare me, but as I get older, what scares me most is reality.  I think this has to do with the fact that as we get older, we don't fear death will happen to us....we believe it will.

Evil Dead Trilogy...In Reverse! Pt1

A follower of Bruce Campbell on Twitter said he had his girlfriend watch the Evil Dead Trilogy with him for the first time - in reverse order.  He said she loved it, so I thought I'd try the same with my girlfriend.

It kinda makes sense. I don't know the actual stats, but I would guess more people have seen Army of Darkness since it isn't an actual "horror" movie.  It's more of a comedy/action movie with gore.  I'm pretty sure I've seen it on TV at some point, and I don't think I've seen the first two on TV at all.  Anyway, my point is that the third movie can appeal to a broader fan-base, so I thought it would be a good way to start.  She already likes Bruce from Burn Notice, so we're already off to a good start.

Army of Darkness

The greatest part about having someone watch Army of Darkness first is the intro.  Basically in less than five minutes, you're given this back-story: Ash was with his girlfriend in a cabin in the woods, she turns into a zombie so he has to kill her.  The evil got into his hand, so he cut it off and fashioned a chainsaw as a replacement.  He uses incantations from the Book of the Dead to ward off the evil, but he is accidentally sent back in to the middle ages.

Can you imagine if someone tried to pitch that for a movie?  If the first two movies hadn't already been made, I don't think anyone would have come up with such a far out jumping-off point.  I think the meeting in Hollywood went something like: "So, we already made these first two movies...and Sam Raimi's already on board, so....can we just keep going where we left off?"

If you've ever played Duke Nukem 3D on a PC, you're old.  You also probably heard most of the famous catch lines from this movie.  I have to admit that I played the game before I saw this movie, so I was one of those idiots who thought that Duke Nukem was original with his "Groovy" and "Hail to the King, Baby".  Bonus Tip - The first "Groovy" is spoken in Evil Dead II when Ash first puts on the chainsaw.

So, my girlfriend and I finish Army of Darkness and she actually says "That was better than I thought it would be".  Pretty high praise, really, for a girl who doesn't watch any horror at all.  The real test will be transitioning into a movie that is slightly more horror than humor...and then into the full early-80's, slow-paced, low-budget masterpiece.

Fingers crossed!