Leave Nightmare Alone!

Oh dear lord. OK, deep breath.

I'm going to have to talk about remakes here for a second.

So, we're well into the new millenium at this point. Before long we won't have this weird "oh-eight" type of designation for our years. We can get back to just calling years by their final two digits. When that happens, maybe it will be time for a Nightmare on Elm Street remake. Do you know why it is too early to do it now? Because Robert Englund STILL EXITS DAMMIT!

It's so damn simple- look at the "Big 3": Michael Myers - wears a mask. Jason - wears a mask. Freddy - looks like a very distinctive, burned version of Robert Englund. As he gets older, it will take less makeup, and he will more naturally look like a burned up pedophile.

It was acceptable to make any iteration, incarnation, sequel, remake, or do-over of Halloween or Friday the 13th because no matter what you do, the main villian will be a believable version of the original. If you "remake" Elm Street, you have to remake Freddy. I don't care how amazingly you do that, it's not going to work for the original fans.

Michael Bay appears to be signed on for this. I would be excited about that if it was for any other horror remake. At least then I would know it would be an over-the-top crazy action-horror flick, but it wouldn't be changing the face of a horror icon.

In closing: I was fine with Halloween being remade because it was Zombie and he didn't take away from anything. I'm fine with every crazy version of "Jason goes to space" or whatever they come up with because it's still Jason killing people, but when Robert Englund dies, Freddy dies...and only then will the real nightmares begin.

-Adam E.